Before this article starts, I must give by way of several readers and my exhausted editor an apology. Sometimes, in making controversial jokes, you may need to overstep the boundaries so you know that you still have boundaries. I, apparently, overstepped those boundaries with my previous post on the draft. So I do humbly apologise for that. Please direct your hatred towards my twitter page or the comments below. What follows next is an edited, not too controversial version of the post.
The one thing that John Cena fears and Tyler Breeze can’t live without is a draft. In 2011, John Cena switched brands twice on a famous night in 2011 that gave Smackdown its first bit of major relevance since Jeff Hardy’s fireworks were drafted to RAW. In the time that has passed since the need for a draft was extinguished due to Super Johnny’s Supershow of Superstars (and the women), the roster has merged into a mix of successful veterans, young upstarts and Santino Marella. But with NXT providing the roster with talent rarely seen with such depth and class, it may be time to settle down on picking a brand and staying with it. With this in mind, here are my arguments for another draft class, with some conditions in place. Buckle up, this is going to be controversial, much like Triple H’s daughters’ search history (Steve Austin podcast joke).
A Place to Start Right
If the draft returns, it only seems right that more than one of the NXT talents get the call to rise. Much like Viagra, the rise needs to be more gradual and, much like the pill, the blue brand seems to be the best one to use. If RAW and Smackdown get some ‘NXT picks’, then the superstars aren’t just thrown in at random, confusing both the audience as to why they chose the surprise route and confusing the superstars who thought that their coffee runners would be just that until they start throwing punches at each other like a rival football game. It also gives the divas a bit of prominence: not just in the sense that the roster will see more cleavage than a hacked Seth Rollins social media account (Twitter and WWE hack joke), but that called-up divas can belong to a show and a brand desperately in need of some standout women characters.
Since the human tattoo parlour currently holds all the cards to the biggest championship, it may be a big task to, once again, split the titles into WWE and World Heavyweight categories. Splitting those titles and assigning one to each brand gives each show an overall goal. But with this split, it’s easy to forget that titles need to be won to build up a wrestler’s portfolio. In a sense, the exclusive championships are like a valuable present from your ex: they hold treasured memories but you have to make a decision at some point as to when you’re going to throw it away because keeping it in one place for too long makes it gather dust and contains horrid memories. Bringing back the Cruiserweight Championship to a brand that has Adrian Neville, Sami Zayn or Tyler Gentle Wind on it would be the wrestling equivalent of seeing a racist get a kick in the nuts from an African man. It just feels so right to watch.
The phrase ‘Too many cooks spoil the broth’ couldn’t be more apt here. Having each brand have their own identity would be a masterstroke. Have Smackdown be your one-stop shop for high-flying entertainment and story development for the writers, whilst RAW can be gritty and push the larger-than-life heroes to another dimension. It’s no good having identical twins, you’ve eventually pick a favourite but ignoring the other one won’t make you feel like you’ve missed out on something. Somewhere along the line, the other twin has to get a haircut and start pulling fitter birds than its brother and both brothers can walk away with the same smug satisfaction that seems to have engulfed Roman Reigns in recent months.
What do you think? Comment below with your thoughts, opinions, feedback and anything else that was raised.